The Aspirational RSVP: What No-Shows Taught Me About Connection
Ashely and I started a guilt-free book club earlier this year. This month’s book was Priya Parker’s The Art of Gathering.
To help ensure that the conversation aligned with the goals of the folks gathered, I posed this icebreaker question, “Is there a challenge you face when organizing a gathering you would like guidance on?” I could think of areas of the book that would help most folks, but one question stood out, “How can I get people to attend my event, especially when they RSVP yes?”
How can I get people to attend my event, especially when they RSVP yes?
As a person hosting an event where 27 people RSVPed but only 5 had joined, I was too caught up in my story to help and let the group share their thoughts. Much of it was tried-and-true advice, including how you hype the event or charge admission. But then Annusha hypothesized a potential root cause.
When people RSVP, they are RSVPing the person they hope to be, not who they are at the time of the event.
People who take classes, attend lectures, participate in workshops, go to mixers, attend book clubs, etc., strive to make their world richer, live their lives larger, do better, and be better. When people RSVP, they are RSVPing the person they hope to be, not who they are at the time of the event.
While she threw out the idea, unsure of its accuracy, within moments, it was clear to everyone in the room that she had hit the nail on the head.
Long ago, I learned that people are doing their best in a given moment. However, this insight made me look at event registration and attendance in a new light.
When a person says yes to an event I am hosting, they say yes to sharing my dream of having a meaningful time with new and old friends. When they arrive at the event, they show they have the energy to help make that dream a reality.
To be clear, I am not suggesting that folks start RSVPing for events that they have no intention of attending, creating a virtual vision board for who they want to be at the expense of the hosts.
I’m suggesting that while we are encouraging folks to be as honest as they can be about their attendance, we can ensure that we have enough space, seating, food, beverages, and other supplies for everyone that we give those who don’t manage to keep their RSVPs up to date a bit of grace.
